Category Archives: spider

Edwina Garrison, why are you shaped like a chocolate shared


I think I met one of Fat Albert’s children today. Edwina Garrison was slowly creeping her little black leggys along the floor on the hunt for a resting purch. I’m not a fan of handling spiders with my bare hands, so i reached for the most recent container which happened to be an ice cream container.

However there was a bit of melty icecream inside it and Edwina curled up into a ball like she was a chocolate shard and i thought ooh… id better wash her out. I dont think spiders like icecream and i heard somewhere that spiders have pockets of air or something so they can survive water. I didnt want her pockets going all gloopy so washed her down the drain.

I wonder how spiders clean themselves. Do they do it like cats? Lick all eight legs with their spider tongue.

Anyway on to today seeing as i’ll get this done by after 12. Well I went to this parent class today where they show you that you shouldn’t let the conflict with your ex happen infront of the children and how they feel. I’ve been there so i’d never do that. but the woman made us watch a video.

You know you have been in education too long when the person asks “what did you think of that video” and you have to stop yourself saying “How come the little girl was waiting for her bed time story in the day light and the other girl was getting ready for school?, the acting was bad and one of the girls who spoke looked like she was possessed by the devil”.

There was some other funny stuff i noticed but i shouldnt mention it. Although it was pretty funny. Basicly we all agreed a “What happens in vegas stays in vegas” policy. Im not sure if that part should have been kept in vegas… but it does make you wonder what we got up to in that room doesnt it? It may have been nothing to do with being parents. pahahaha!

This morning i woke up feeling all kind of like i had a not so great dream in the night. I cant remember what it was now so its not so bad.

Other events of the day was my not so secret plan, which i’ll not mention just in case nobody actually knows. I think i might hang around uni again tomorrow and do some jingles, maybe i should just get up late and do nothing. Oh the possibilities are wonderful. I could make like a leaf and get out of here. Robin said one the other day which i thought was so funny but i cant remember it… if i remember it i’ll put it at the end.

That’s a point actually, the podcast is late. I think i should put that up tomorrow, at least on mixcloud.

Right… time to finish up and then get some sleeps!

p.s… it was something like make like a tree and fuck off… or something like that 😛

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Spider webs


I went into the kitchen and i discovered Fat Albert has webbed all over it. Thanks!

I think i may have pulled my stomach muscles with all that dancing the other night. They feel like ive been beaten up and kicked in. I managed to survive yesterday without collapsing and as long as i don’t cough i wont flop over in a heap of flaff.

I think there are ants in the kitchen. I caught one crawling up my legs maybe looking for some sugar. I was wearing shorts. You’re not getting your anty hands on my lollypop, Twat.


Mary Jane smiles at meep antics. This is good.

Fat Albert


I Saw fat Albert the spider today.  i was putting some washing in the kitchen and i walked through some webs and i thought “I bet shes in this pile of clothes” so i shook them out and there she was, running off under the cooker. I hope she doesnt get too hot under there.

Anyway. Im just about to go to uni now to get this podcast done. Laters!