This week has been a busy one, so much so, that the events and every tragic thing that happened on Tuesday for my Fun Kids interview hasn’t been blogged yet.
Tuesday was the day the underground was on strike. It was a day where I had to purchase TWO pairs of trousers, and jumped over an old woman in a wheel chair entering a charity shop.
The night before was a bit of a rubbish one for reasons I wont go into, but it led to me wanting more sleep in the morning. When I say wanting more sleep, it usually means attempt to sleep for 15 minutes but get out of bed in frustration because the work that needs doing gets to me. So I got up and realized that I had no toothpaste, and I miss the colors in my toothpaste so Aquafresh was required. also my shirt was all crinkled so needed an iron, and wasn’t going to travel to the other place so got a fresh one.
Once purchasing this iron i decided to iron my shirt. I realized at this point that i partially ironed my shirt to the carpet and had to peel it off and everything’s fine now. Then it took me too long to get changed, and my shaver ran out of batteries so I also had to shave all my face hair off with a proper razor and stuff.
My phone was not charging so I went to Uni to get some print off of directions to get to Shoreditch in London and train directions. everything was like clockwork, but when I go to the station there was a que at the ticket office. I waited and eventually got served in time before the train left. The train had bored though and thought “I’d better hurry”.
I jumped on the train and felt this almighty rip. MY TROUSERS HAD GIVEN WAY IN THE WORSE PLACE POSSIBLE!
I figured I’d better find a seat asap. Upon inspection, it was pretty bad. I panicked. When the train got to Bristol I was having a think.
- Maybe I could just carry my jacket… yes… use it as some sort of modesty rag.
- Maybe I could get some trousers in Reading… No… I’ve never been to reading… then again I’ve never been through London alone
- What If i have to get the Tube because the train’s late now. What if someone notices
- What if a kid sees me?
- What if they have kids visiting Fun Kids
- Can i facebook something to see if I have any friends in Bristol, or Reading or Swindon or Didcot or SOMEWHERE I can meet at the station who can give me some trousers.
- I wonder if anyone else on the train has trousers
- I CANNOT WALK INTO A RADIO STATION FOR KIDS WITH THE MAJORITY OF MY CROTCH ON SHOW!
The train changed in Bristol where I phoned the station and said I’d be late due to a major wardrobe malfunction. I get on the train to Reading, which had a few stops so I went to the toilets to see if I could fix the rip with whatever I had in my bag. This is what was in there:
- Drawing Pins
- a small bit of string from a clothes tag and a safety pin
- A Lolly stick
- 2 forks
- more string
- a Costa Coffee card
- Sausage Roll Wrapper
I get to work, and my survival tactics kicked in. First trying to bend the drawing pins in a way that would secure the rip which was between the seams. It didn’t work because I couldn’t bend it with my fingers. I tried to with the fork but it didn’t work. I could only bend the pins once. I needed something that would keep the pins secure.. THE LOLLY STICK!
I pinned the seams to the lolly stick and it kind of worked, I thought this was genius… how the HELL did i come up with this. I should get a prize!
The rip was longer than the stick so I put the safety pin a little higher and you could almost not tell that there was issues. As long as i didn’t strain it, it would stay.
I managed to finish it, and thought… let’s just make sure it holds until I get some more trousers in London. The tran gets to Reading and I saw there’s Time till my next train. YAY!!
So I get off in Reading, and take a guess that the station is in the town centre… which paid off and dashed into town. I saw a Heart foundation shop. I covered myself just in case anyone noticed (I had underwear on by the way, and black so was less noticeable. I got into the shop, I had 10 minutes to the train. RUN RUN RUN.
There’s an old woman in a wheel chair outside the shop. Her carer tells the shop people she wants to get in. I go past and look at the trousers… 38… yes you have trousers for fat people… ACE. I’ll have them. 7 minutes to the train.
Shop people faff around looking for a ramp. The boy in the shop who is serving ignores me. I wait. 6 minutes and I’ve been noticed. He takes FOREVER to regester the garment, and asks if I want a bag. I say no thanks, so logically he STILL goves me a bag and struggles to enter it.
I leave with about 3 shop assistants trying to set up the ramp for the woman. I Jump over the half finished ramp with 5 minutes to the train. Run to the station as my pins and stuff holding my trousers fall apart again, I run into the train station, get the train, and then put my trousers on in the toilet.
The trousers don’t fit… THEY ARE WAY TOO SMALL! WHY! WHY! WHYYYY!!!!!!!!
STUPID FUCKING SHOP!
So… the train arives in london. Not the station I wanted because I got on the wrong train because of my panic. I tell Aphre what’s happened, and she guides me on where to get a train… not knowing the tubes closed. I figure that I can’t go to the interview like this so I risk again… not ever being to this part of London (I’ve only been to BBC twice and the Tate Modern) I go on search for a department store of some sort. I find Marks and Spencer. never happier to see a clothes shop.
I dash in… get some Jeans that I know are more likely to fit (38 waste black jeans) and put them on before leaving the shop. although tight because they have different sizes in different shops which is bloody stupid. But I was in a rush and wasn’t going to complain.
I headed back to the station (Still with little battery on my phone so couldn’t satnav) and phoned the radio station to see how to get there due to the tube strike. They assist me, and I find a way to get to Mooregate station, take a quick peek on the satnav before the phone ran out and got to the place.
The interview its self I think was OK. I wouldn’t reveal what I thought my chances were or the questions I was asked. Getting home was a lot easier too. I got back and just fell asleep. It was a crazy day.
Since then, I’ve been working on my experimental audio, and doing things with Code Red and Sound Gorillas projects. I’ve currently taken a break from doing the business plan.
And right now, I’m in a Hotel Room in Halifax writing this blog, ready to see Ruby tomorrow. I think my phone internet is just as quick as my old 56k modem.
Hopefully that crazy adventure was crazy enough for my lifes natural surrealism to have something to chew on, and you had a bit of a giggle about it. I suppose its time for me to do other things.