Monthly Archives: March 2006

SCB Radio: Update


Well theres no SCB This year… a radio station is launching this year, just after the time we were going to go on air. Were going to concentrate on other things to do with the station.

Theres Anger i want to express on this blog… i hear someone from a Radio station in Swindon has been rather cocky and cussed down our station. But the reason i wont do it back yet is because its from the grapevine and i’ve never met the guy. If they read this, i’m afraid that if you belive your self then your verry, verry sad and you’re afraid of a bit of compitition If you have a problem with this give me an email Now to jonathan_robinson_2005@yahoo.co.uk . Now these are the views of Jonathan Robinson, not of the station i work for.

NO ID!!



Now, As bar staff in the leading bar in Halifax, I understand that I may asked for I.D to check my age if the bar staff think I’m under 21… Which I look nothing like under 21 although I am 21, Like wise with my other 2 pals while going out on a Tuesday night in Swindon. Me, Caroline, Dave and Claire (All work with) went to Yates in Swindon (We’d been to the one in Halifax, liked it for the cheap drinks) I was joined by Rich who I hadn’t seen for a while, And Jonathan M(worked with both at Swindon FM) Jonathan M left us after 5 minutes to go to Salsa at Edwards Bar, Round the Corner and said we’ll be in Edwards Later. We finish our rounds of drink, leave Caroline and Claire to do their own thing and go to Edwards.

Rich, Jonk And Dave went in, and the barmaid asked us what we wanted, Got us our Drinks, then the words “Have you got any ID?” Come out of her Mouth

Were all Gob Smacked!!! We all look way older that 21, I am 22, Dave is 23 and rich is something like 29 or 30 (I’m sure i’l be corrected). I show her my ID, which SHOULD be ok now, because I’ve got a citizen Card and it has a pass logo, which didn’t work before but does now, but she declined it!!! WHAT??? She asked rich who’s Nearly and old man, he didn’t have any (shouldn’t need it) so she took the drinks away, Informed the Door Staff and says “I’m Sorry but if you’re not 18 you shouldn’t be in here”

18!!! EXCUSE ME!!! I’m not taking this as a compliment because that’s just taking the piss, although I understand the laws, we are defiantly not 18! We go without trouble, mainly because me and Dave don’t fancy our chances with the doorman and leave quietly.

Working in a bar, I know this process is wrong, You ask for I.D first before serving the drinks, then turn away because it means you have Rung the items into the till, and then opened the bottles and poured the spirits only to be put as wastage 5 seconds later and thrown at the end of the night, loosing the bar money (about £8.00, which is bad on a quiet night likeTuesday). To be honest I would of served us, like everyone else in Swindon did all this week. But then thinking about on other occasions In Bradford Bar Me turned us away, they asked us for id although we go there regular,Ii was with Gordon and he mentioned that sometimes they wont serve us just because theydon’tt want us there. We went back toYates’ss and got rather drunk.

Off To The TIP


Friday morning

Scene: Front room, Jonk is on the floor with caroline next to him, Claire (Daves Ex-Girlfriend) and Barbra (Daves Bohemouth Sister)

BANG BANG (Door opens)

Bob: Oh hello Jonathan, what are you doing sleeping on the floor
Jonk wakes up: You chucked the bed you c*^t, Remember
Bob: Why do i always get the blame for stuff. Whos this
Barbra: I’m Barbra
Bob: Oh hello dear

Anyway bob starts complaining bout the house not having any wall paper and things being everywhere, and jonk reminds him that he was the one who told him to pull the wal paper down, and left his stuff in stupid places. Bob then ispects jonks clothes that are waiting to be washed.

Bob: What the F^*K is This Jonathan!?!?!?!
Jonk: Its a towel, you try your self with it
Bob: its dirty
Jonk: i know, Its waiting to be washed
Bob: Why dont you wash it
Jonk: i am going to wash it, i put it there yesterday
Bob: But its not Clean (Bob throws the dirty towel at claire) Look smell that, its not clean is it??
Claire: (Half asleep) F*^k off!
Bob then picks up the blankets off everyone and talks about how dirty the blankets are and need throwing, however its just the sheets that are dirty, bob is trying to make Jonks life harder to live and look bad infront of everyone, however they know what bobs like by now, besides Barbra who is sticking up for bob.

Bob puts them in a pile and says he is going to take them to be washed

the night before…
Bob came round to take some things to the tip as jonk complained it was rubbish that didnt need to be there, with bob saying that Jonks TV, Computer, Radio Desk and other expensive items were out of date and needed throwing and jonk called him stupid, and they threw out the crap they didnt need. They did take it to the tip but it closed at 4 and bob got angry… abit like the world was against him again. He agreed to leave it outside the house till the morning.

Back to the morning:
Bob starts loading the rubbish into his car (His other car which isnt a pile of scrap) and tells jonathan to get in, along with claire and caroline (Bohemouth had to go to bradford). They get to the tip and throw the unwanted items away. They Then go the the laundrette. Bob had earlier made a big deal about my clothes being washed in the sink (As i have no washing Machine) and called it discusting and said they needed taking to the laundrette (That costs £5 each time, £5 that jonk doesnt have) Jonk told him to just leave his clothes and take bobs things only. Bob walks into the laundrette with caroline and jonk and talks to the lady and pulls out a dirty tea towel.

Bob: Hello love, I just want your opinion on something, My nephew here thinks he has washed this towl here, does that look clean to you?
Jonk: I didnt say i washed it
Lady: No Dear thats not washed, its not acceptible
Jonk Flips: YOU CAN ALL GET F^*KED.
Jonk tells the lady that if she belives him she is well stupid and calls bob a tw*t and walks off. Claire is still in the car and doesnt know what to do and caroline isnt happy with bob either. Jonk walks down the road and caroline and claire follow him.

Bob comes round a week later to go on holiday again, and enters like he’s going to get a kicking from jonk … However jonk doesnt.

First Day Trip To Morecambe of 2006


(This is the bobs car story in more detail… with the start of the day inclubed)

One Tuesday, Me and Caroline had worked at Buzz the Night Before (Another nightclub owned by the company we work for) And we were Knackered. all of a sudden

BANG BANG (On the door (baby))

BANG BANG (Door opens)

Bob: Hello Jonathan, Hello um, um ca, um Claire
Jonk: Bob its Caroline
Bob: oh yeah, Hello Caroline love, how are you?
Caroline: im ok.
Bob: Jonathan, whys my house in a mess? what are you still doing in bed at this time of the day?
Jonk: Bob, thats your mess, and we were working last night
Bob: Oh sorry Jonathan. Well i’m off to morcambe, are you comeing?
Jonk: I dunno, were shattered

bob goes to the Toilet, Jonk and Caroline Discuss whether they are going with him and then he comes back down

Bob: Jonathan your toilet smells like a dirty old mans been in it
Jonk: There was, his names bob
Bob looks at him with a face like a sarcastic haha
Bob: well im going now, are you comeing?
They agree and go to morcambe. They get there and bob has to sign on and do a few other things, while Jonk and caroline go to the libary to get online. bob comes into the libary and they go for food. about 5 oclock they leave morcambe, not before going to the petrol station and filling the car up with £2.13 worth of petrol (Bob does this on a regular basis, and always does it up to the pence on the spare change he has in his pocket)

Half way home…
Jonk: “Bob, what s that noise???”
Bob: “i don’t Know Jonathan!”
Jonk: “It sounds like the exaust”

Bob stops and looks under the car and the exaust is hanging off.
He ties it back on with some wire but it falls off again ten minutes later. He stops at a petrol station to re-tie it with a coat hanger but as he’s fixing it Jonk and Caroline have to get out of the car and the petrol station closes, with the stupid lady switching the lights off making bobs task harder.Anyway it was bloody cold

Bob: FOR F^*K SAKE!
you can see the steam coming his head
Bob finally makes it home, Not before going to another 2 petrol stations and putting £1.81 and £3.00 in.

Bar Wars Update


The Battle of Pharoes bar was won That december, Danny got into a spot of bother and doesnt work on pharoes any more, Jonk was put on pharoes almost constantly since Colin Left, Lauren is in the mist of rotation, going to other bars within coli. In January Jonk Completed his first luminar book and has sent in his second one.

Jonk comes in one day and asks management if he can be taken off Pharoes for one day a week… he is given the rota for that week… Looked at thursday… He was on stage bar with Lena… tht cant be right :-S … Looked at Friday… Pharoes… Looked at Saturday… HE WAS IN CHARGE OF THE POB BAR!!!

Not Pob from the kids tv show, but pob standing for Pat O’Briens Bar, in Mainestreet, And on a saturday (Busyest Night). The Night went fantastic, and loved being on there, even tho he hadnt been there for 5 months. The next week came and is now in the mist of rotation but however is still on pharoes one night of the week untill one of the bars he wants comes Available… Jonk Has won Bar wars and his sights set on bigger things… Stay tuned for the next exiting chapter of

POLICE END