Monthly Archives: November 2005

Un-STRANDED!



What was the Fucking Point???

The busses are now not going on strike this friday. My girlfriend explains they do this, most times they go on strike and change the date.

Whats the deal anyway about bus strikes? Busses transport people from one place to another. Whats more important, Bus drivers getting a pay rise, or fire fighters getting pay rise?

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Gotta Bunk, L8rz! – The Visit




Doodah (Pictured left) and thingie (Pictures Right) came over at 2.30am wiv some bird (Not pictured).

They ask why we bunked. i explained that i didnt want to go to another pub and pay 4 a taxi cos i was skint and so was caroline. I said they could stay till 4am when i wanted 2 sleep. 4am came. Doodah was trying to nest himself on the floor in the bedroom with Thingie, This bird was still downstairs waiting for doodah. I had planned to sleep downstairs.

I told them to go home nicely, then told them angrily. Doodah said dont worry they can sleep upstairs. I said no, im incharge of the house. Go home. Thingie went downstairs and doodah stayed up, the girl clearly wanted to go.

I got angry with doodah and left him upstairs, if i had tryed to move him physiclly it would of caused a fight, so played some mind games to get him annoyed so he’d leave. 10 mins L8r he comes bak down in a mood with me. He has a go at me, i have a go back and i explain that i live here, he dosent. im in charge and i want him to leave. I also explain how much he has acted like a Dick head recently and he gets angry. He then sits on the chair penting up ready to blow.

Meanwhile this girl orders a taxi and thingie leaves with her at 5am. Doodah also goes at 5, and offers his hand to make up. I Decline. Doodah leaves in a stress

to be continued??? Work on thursday!

STRANDED!



Well i’v been informed that there is a bus strike on friday. meaning i wont be able to get to work, and more importantly the pub.

As i live in one of the surrounding villages of halifax/bradford im un able to get to either of them, unless by taxi (Which is roughly £100 to the next village) or walk (Which is 100 miles away from the next village)

Hmmm

Gotta Bunk, L8rz! – The phone Call


Doodah called askin me If i wernt gonna come why did i come “ya fat cunt”

Windy back box


Ok so if you found me while going through my website (www.angelfire.com/music5/jonkable) you may have noticed that i have a segment that explains the Windy Back Box which has currently 0 pictures because i dont know how to update it without sum sort of software (That i dont have)

But. Here is an idea of the windy back box

If u dunno what im on about, click this

Gotta Bunk, L8rz!


Wel i met with 2 people from work yesterday, and me and my girlfriend bunked.

One of them came round “Are u up to much?”
me and caroline: no not really
doodah: meet me and thingie in’t pub if u want
me and caroline: Ok, can only stay for a quick drink

hour later Got to pub… Phone goes
Doodah: change of plan meet us at other pub

10 mins later met at other pub:
Thingy: what u getting your money out for? were going to another pub

Jonk gets boared with having gone to 2 pubs and had no alcohol. Caroline gets fed up as she has had to walk around in the cold for 40 mins in freezin cold weather.

Thingy: Rite were going into this boose shop just up here. (As they walk up, jonk and caroline think of a plan)

they arrive out side the shop, some underage Chav bird asks one of them to get her sum fags
Caroline: we’l wait out here for ya
Thingy and doodah go into the shop and caroline and jonk bunk. They run round a few corners to loose them and end up at the pub next door to the one they had left 20 mins ago is its the last place that they are going to be

To Be Continued…

My cluffing finger


I Cut my finger at work today. It didnt hurt… Till i touched SAMBUCA!

i had a plaster on but it went through. It happened when i was cleaning the shelfs and my finger breased over this bit of glass that had gotton stuck to the shelf earlier in the night, at first i felt nothing, but then after i got it out and thought “that would of cut me” looked at my finger and it did, then it started bleeding immidiatly. “Fuck” and told the person i was workin wiv il b bak in a bit. I was on MY BAR most of the nite but changed when i swapped wiv sum1 4 a bit.

I managed to go onto MY BAR and then some1 wanted a sambucca. I tipped it, some went on my finger, soaked through and “AHHHHHHHHH FUCK”

Well im a bit annoyed cos i cant type properly and have been making nonsence txt messages… and i havnt even got any food so i might wait an hour for the co-op to open (its 5:20am. just finished work) had an extra long shift too. Was kids nite and i enjoyed that, I like rushing about.

By the wayle while i was working today i figured something out. Obviously, Every one knows about the 24 hour drinking laws now. Well we surved till 3am today, and between 2 15 (2 am being our old closing time)and 3 am (Our new bar closing time, club shutting at 3.30) Almost nobody came to the bar for alcohol. I thought these laws would give people the freedom to stay in the club for an extra hour and a half, But give them the freedom to go home at 330 and they still go home at 2am. Whats the point????

yeah, before a few ppl on the old times would come to the bar after 2 and go “Ahh lets have a pint. please mate” you explain “no, were not allowed” and the offer you a fiver. but the regular people who come to ya after 2 didnt even come btween 2 and 3 probly cos they couldnt have an argument. hehe. thats why i like workin in a nite club… and before i came here i hardly even stepped foot into a night club (Only flares in bradford, oh and in swindon i went to Edwards but thats not a nite club) since then ive been to coliseum, oceana (Leeds) and Buzz (Wakefield) but buzz and coli was work, havnt had a night out yet. im usually always skint tho and never been to acca so might at some point.

Well A Boringly blog by a tired jonk. Working non stop from 6pm till 4am… And could of done another 4 hours! i was in the mood for it. Havnt felt like that since the shattering, finger disintergrating work at SCB (Which i loved doing… and i really do mean that).

Off to bed in a bit. goin to do sum research on sumfin then goin 2 bed.

L8rz yo

This is the news


I was gonna put this on the website but i cant do it yet so…

BIG DRUG HORRORNESS IN COPPERDOLLY SUPERMARKETS AND OTHER PLACES
Report by Jonathan Robinson and Carrie Meaddow

The Helicopter nightly News said today it can reveal the widespread use of class A drugs in Copperdolly supermarkets, public buildings, nightclubs, toilets, Carparks, rooftops, fields, skys and roads.
We carried out spot checks for cocaine in 31 venues. Thirty-nine tested positive. The Helicopter Nightly News investigation using swabs that detect the horible drugs and deadly substances on toilet lids, systems toilet-roll holders, fingernails and drugholders.The red swabs turn blue if cocaine is present and stays red if none, abit like a pregnancy test but diffrent. They are 106 per cent accurate and the coppers use them every day!

We found traces of Coke everywhere, under the sink, in the car, on pound coins, in sick, nightspots, two supermarkets, a McDonlad’s restaurant, Woolywhoos, The Helicopter news offices and two public toilets. There was also a positive reading at the birds toilets at Copperdolly Magistrates’ Court, Judge Micheal Roberts was caught. Paul “The Stain” Fox, from Copperdolly Druggie Team, said: “We know that theres cocaine users in Copperdolly, just like every town and city in the uk, so it comes as no surprise, although Wollys was a tiny suprise.”I will not accept this rubish from people who use our councils facilities for this but i in’t superman or supprised. ”who ever has done this, i will hunt you down”

A court person spills his guts and said: “Lots of people take drugs, i don’t, not ever.SHARON!!!” was he lieing’?
Mr Apple from Alsa, where toilet lids in the male and female lavatories tested positive, said:”Yeah I know, great an’t it ”We expect to see Coke on the shelves in our anals, not in customer toilets.”
Supermarket toilets are open to the general public, If ya didn’t Know.

Mr J Siansbuy’s said: “We did’nt know! It wasnt me. Who was it. Was it you? Or you? Stop it now.”This was echoed by Mr Woolywhoos of Woolwhoos’s in Halifax, which also tested positive.”We didn’t know who done it,” he said.
Ronald McDonlad of McDonlad’s said he’s taking the matter very seriously,by re-curling his red hair and will be running about with a duster and a boom box, and would be supprised if duster didn’t work. He suspects the hamburlger is to blame as he’s a dirty, lazy swine.
And bar and club owners also promised to step up checks on cubicles. A spokesperson for Binkariddles said: ” were gonna have to give everone a strip search in the streets before anyone comes in, we will not for all staff because we think we trust mosr of our staff”
And a spokeswoman for the Planet mars said they would only take a “zero-tolerance” approach Just everyone that has coats although it makes no difference what ever we do”.

But the manager of the Cerladiaskis said they took right loads of changes to make it harder for druggies and chaves come in. He said: “Where we can, we will removed all flat surfaces and made ’em wobley and bulit a arch in the toilet, the lids of the toliets are bumppy and gross. We can also use E12 on surfaces and on difficult customers, which cause substances to dissolve flesh from the inside and other parts of the body, including the toilet lids them self, so much infact we have desolved all the toilets on porpose at coliseum for a reason of no existence. We carry out random spot checks with a team of un-trained dogs that are secretly hidden under the sinks and at back of toliets. “we do spot checks for a reason, the reason is the worlds going to bend.”

Mr Alpaculiculkin, manager of the Alpaculiculkin, said they had a sweety drugs policy. He said: “In the last six weeks we have had three sessions of drug-taking on our premises and it were great.” More Coke was collected in Helicopter Bus Station toilets (where the chavs go and the mosher crew stays fermly away) owned by bus company “John Fast”, and the Spencer Square toilets, also a chav hotspot, run by Copperdolly Council. All of the members in this article are chavs and moshers.A spokesman for “John Fast” said the area outside the toilets was covered by security cameras, before chavs stole them.”They come to fool around with chavs and the mosher loans he said.A spokesman for Copperdolly Council said: “I know, what am i supposed to do about it, stop them my self? but what can i do? iam rally important you know, Take Them dogs away from me. The managers of The Monkey bar and Robertsons were unavailable to comment on the readings found at their premises, as they were high on the stuff at the time and the bbc said couldn’t track them down, but now we cant find them either.

How did u get on the telly?


I went upstairs to make some toast (Long story) and while checking the TV i stumbled across this



IT’S RICH! Whats he doing on the telly, i thought he worked at Esso!

What? theres a bit of glitter on tv… and its not the news


Ok, so at the moho, while watching the news i see garry glitter is in a spot of trouble… again with kids. Shouldnt of done it in the 1st place. But While watching the music channel, What do i see??

Scooter (Guy with white hair singing that Really hard Bangy Dance style music) Shouting “Hello! Hello! It’s Good To Be Back! It’s Good To Be Back”me and Rich have been talking about this recently:

Rich: Hey you can still buy Gary Glitter CDs on Amazon
jonko: yeah rite like any1 gonna buy it now
Rich: might be worth something in a couple of years
Rich: The number two track is called (no joke) 2. Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah)
jonko: what shit? every1 is dumping the music he made… yeah its good but even if its sold he gets a cut. i kno iv got it
jonko: it goes “Do ya wnna touch me, do ya wanna touch me, do ya wanna touch me there, there”
Rich: you notice all his songs have one phrase over and over “`wana be im my gang….my gang….wana be in my gana….oh yeah
jonko: i know. i dont wanna be in his gang if he duz that tho… lol
Rich: Can i put this conversation on my blog
jonko: yeah
jonko: just for the record i had the songs before he was dun for the kiddy thing
jonko: lol
Rich: Before he took his computer into that shop in Bristol
jonko: yeah
jonko: now he lives in bankok
Rich: I doubt he gets much cock know

a day later

jonko: update on a gary glitter song, someones sampled one!
jonko: Theres a new song out that sings “Hello, Hello, Its good to be back, its good to be back”
jonko: its by Scooter, it was on the Music TV channels
Rich: someone sampled a gary glitter song, your joshing me
jonko: No, im being serious
Rich: they reckon if he gets convicted of kiddy feeling, he could get shot
jonko: someone sampled it. the band Scooter (Made popular for sampling the logical song from 1979 and speeding it up) has had their music video played on one of the cheepo music channels
jonko: they dont hav gary glitter doin it, they do it them selfs, but he would of been paid alot for it
Rich: sampling gary glitter thats just evil, giving a kiddyfidller free cash
jonko: il c if i can find it
Rich: he onces did a song called `1980 “What Your Mama Don’t See`
jonko: lol

Anyway im still a youngan in this Radio world, so i went to www.mediauk.com and put a post up on there:

Jonathan Robinson – I’v seen scooters new song “Good to be back” on one of the music channels (Cant remember which one) Anyone heard it on the radio? Isnt this a bit risky concidering who it was by orignally??

David Hedley – It’s ‘full’ name is “Hello (Good To Be Back)”. It’s pretty average by Scooter’s standards. As I don’t know who it was by originally, it can’t be that risky. Not to mention that Scooter only really care about the European market now, and most of their singles never get a UK release. The names kind of a little incorrect, in that they’ve already had three previous singles this year, so it’s not much of a comeback at all.

Helen Blaby – It was originally by Gary Glitter.

David Hedley – Ah.. But even so, I don’t think it’ll be that big a deal. A lot of Scooter’s audience weren’t born when Gary Glitter was releasing hits, and although a few older people might cringe, how many ‘older people’ are listening to Scooter anyway? The person who made the music shouldn’t really reflect the music itself. I never stopped listening to Jacko during the trial, and wouldn’t of, guilty or otherwise

Well Folks, to hear more in the situation click here (You need to be a member tho, so join up and then come bak cnd click the link again)