Monthly Archives: October 2005

An Unproductive day


YAWWWWWN!

today was a nothing-ness, Nillness, Zinnnyfied, Deadness, quietage day, it was well weowm (The kind of paper thing when it floats to the ground in awavey motion)

Was trying to make some funny video tapes today, Getting stuff from tv, putting different music and words to it and so on, but i got too boared to do that and everything i tryed to do today i wondered off from it. I even wondered off from making a radio show to write this blog.

And even writing this blog im talking to someone from work on the text, taking me ages to write it. The unproductive day is almost thru, just listening to the radio now. i havnt finished anything i started today.

I think i’m loosing weight! Ive cut down how much iv been eating and can tell from hoy much cos my chin is thinner, hehe. i can tell by that way, look down at my pics and my mouth area is bigger. Ohh and i cut my self today, i was doing something with some wires and while using a knife, i stabbed my thinm, luckly it was a pointed knife and was small so it didn’t do muc

Thanks Guys!


Well there was a bit of a drink going on at my house on sunday. i gave every1 about a weeks notice.

Almost Every1 said they were coming on Friday night a few said they might but thats understandable cos i live about 2 mins drive from halifax and no bussed after 11.

Saturday comes and i find out its just the lads as the girls are going out sunday…

Sunday comes 2 people Turn Up Doodah (See ceiling Caper) and Jigger turn up, me and my cousen joe are sat in the front room getting stuffed on pizza and started on our drinks when they arrive, and we sit about having a chat.

Doodah gets a call from Dee-doo, and she wanted us to go to Jumpin Jaks. So we thought, ok, no one came so we might as well go, so we went, couldnt get in cos we turned up late so Doodah and Dee-doo was havin a chat outside jaks, and Dee-doo eventually came with us and spent the night at mine and played some games, did some dares and get slightly drunk, but i dont think any1 was right drunk exept Joe.

So thanks every1 else who said u was going to come, im waiting for the explinations, hehe. Oh well, It was a good night, besides from joe trying to cheer Dee-doo up… when there was nothing wrong.

Jack’s Mum says your never get filled up with a milky way


Look at a milky way wrapper. See how that blue alien floats.

Cast your minds back 3 years, and there that alien was on the advert for milky way, saying to the viewers “Jack’s Mum says your never get filled up with a milky way”.

jacks mum is a liar.

I have had about 20 now and im propper full.

John smiths advert at the moment on bill boards: you cant flog a dead hourse, unless you sell it for glue.

This is a lie aswell. You could sell it to an iron monger who can take the shoes off, he can sell it to a painting company who can shave the tail to make paint brushes, They can sell it onto a football company or a coat company who can use the skin to make horse leather for coats or footballs, and they can sell the bones wither to chocolate makers far far away, or sell the bones to make piano keys.

There you go

Complaining Old Man


this old bloke was on the bus today. GOD! Typical old granny in a mans body. Completly annoying. “Thats not right” “People leaving their houses like that” all that rubbish. SHUT UP!!!

The Orange Juice Caper


One day at SCB, jonathan was offered a drink of orange juice which he placed next to the computer and a pile of minidisks for the days play out. Over the last few weeks there had been strict rules about having liquids on that side of the desk (The Fader side). So jonathan and greg figure there had been no accidents 3 weeks into the broadcast, so they thought, well why not! So greg said Be Verry Carefull. Jonathan was doing a show at the time and was using the computer more further away from the desk. So greg moved the computer towards jonathan, not realising that he has just tangled the mouse wire around jonathans orange juice. All of a sudden. Splash “Oh fuck” spill spill leek spill. and the orange juice spills all over the table narrowly missing the satilite box amd everything else. While tidying up they discover that orange juice had gotten into one of the minidisks for one of that nights shows. In the end all was sorted, but was told off for sounding proud of it. It wasnt that we were proud, we wernt, we were showing the public that if you are worried of something disasterous happening, it will probably happen.

Police End.

The Ceiling Caper


The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

One day jonathan is at work talking to some friends at work about Castle Bobskull

Jonk: And the floor moves when you walk on it
Adam:Eh, me and Kyle ‘ll fix it.

So jonathan lets them come round to fix the floor, because he wants to move the bed, and if the floor wasnt sorted, it would sink through the floor. All Goes well. Untill…

Kyle: Ok its done
Adam:ok, lets lift this bit

And they lift the bit. 2 seconds later…

Adam: we’ll put that bit of floor so i can put this but down.

And removes some lineo, Then All of s sudden, while aiming for a beam to walk on

Adam: OOOH FUCK!

And falls through the living room ceiling of castle bobskull with the beam saving his like but doing tempoary damage to his nackers.

Jonathan Cracks into laughter and Kyle is in a state of shock, then starts to laugh too. later that day after coming back from work after telling every one what happened, they attempted to fix the ceiling, but it was too hard so they finished that part of the floor and left the rest.

The moral of the story is kids… Dont let anyone from the coliseum fix castle bobskull, it could resault in an angry Bob.

Chewing Gum on the Bus


Ok i forgot to put 2 things into the blog that has happened in the last 2 weeks.

While on the way to bradford interchange i was on the bus with my cousen and my uncle. This old-ish lady sat at the back of the bus cos someone with a disibility was sat in the front seats. When she sat in the front to get off at the town hall which was about 2 stops away a big elastciky band thing followed her and streched from the bus seat all across the bus to another seat. Me and my uncle looked at each other and smiled cos it was rather funny, and my cousen was sat there like “What the fuck! Whats going on buddy” and says to me “I think we should tell her” I said, ok go on then and he told her about the stringy string attached to this womans back which turned out to be chewing gum.

Wrigleys ows a woman a new coat and the bus company a new seat.

What the hell have CITV put on???


Ok so im drying my clothes in the primitive way and notice that there is some sort of weird shit on TV. Nope, not telletubbies cos thats bbc, not rosie and jim, Not Boobah, But some thing called blips.

WHAT THE HELL ARE ITV TAKEING!!!

I thought i was weird (And so does every one who works at colliseum night club) But this is rediculous! Someone who works for ITV decided that a man called Mr Perfect would lay a table with this made up funny maniquin lady and there is also a lady doing a voice over. Now and once it was done, they would do a weird style of breakdown of life and everything gets wizzled up into a splodge of visual and audio mess and starts again with a confused mr perfect, and then these blips (Bubble type farting sound things) come in and mess up what he is doing. At that point i was in an state of unconciousness stareing at the TV in a hypnotysed mind state and walked away and carryed on with my day.

What has TV come to?? Its a funny coincidence that it seems to be programs with anything to do with ragdoll productions, maybee blips is.

Im guessing its the same person who made boobah, which i also watched before and changed me into a state of numb mindedness. Why am i watching kiddie shows in the first place? ITV made it eye catching. But im sure they are hypnotysing people, its the way it looks. For instance

Boobah: WHEEE WHEE WHEEE. Boing WEEEEEEE. (Music: Waowm Waowm wah wah waowm) music stops. TING!: (Narrator) Its A shed. Blop: (Narrator) Its Mr whats his face. YING: (Narrator) its little girl. (Music weowm weowm) PLOP: (Narrator) Its A Sausage

And so on. So here is jonks list of fucked up kids TV shows in weirdness

Pob
You cant miss that one out. Im in desprate need to see a pob programme. This was a hypnotyzing programme and want to watch it again. i was 4-6 when it was on and have seen little peices of it on TV but not a full show. BRING THAT WEIRD LOOKING PUPPET BACK!!

Blips – See Above

The Magic Roundabout
Take drugs and watch that i guess the world would seem normal. ive never taken drugs… Well never DIRECTLY smoked them, but have been around when people have… just want to clarify that.

Boobah
See above

Fimbles
Them Fucking fat things with diddy ugly looking fingures. No not my former school attendance officer, these things arnt real unfortunately, would be funny to see them have a fight. or my mum VS a thimble. HAHAHAHAHA

Teletubbies
When i first saw tellytubbies looking through a magazine with my mum we were shocked that sort of thing was on the BBC , my mum got scared and told me how she had a nightmare about them. Slightly moving on from that, did u used to have sky satilite in the early 90s and did you used to get up at 5:30am to watch the Childrens Channel start up ? There was this weird egg thing that ran around with kids, it was japanise i think. Well looking at teletubbies it was like that so it was quite popular in the robinson house, and i remember hitting the TV in 1997 when diana died cos they cancled teletubbies.

Rosie And Jim
I purchased a tape of this recently. Hehehehe. I know its weird, but its completly dumb, going to get some stuff and finding sausages and toffie yougart, whe fizzgog is a vegitearian. Hmm. Im in a stage of buying tapes for this project im doing with audio tape recorders and stuff in my spare time.

i think i’l get back to this another time when i find some more.

Mal8rz

Experiment 1: Talking in Long Wind


Ok so i am today trying a new experiment called “Talking in long wind”.

This means you think on a word, like lolly, take the two first letters, “Lo” think of another word that starts with it and but a sentance inbetween and end the sentance with a word that ends with “lly” and say a number (in this case 3 as it is the last 3 letters you want to put on the first 2 letters to cause the word lolly) so for instance:

Low lifes are silly 3 = Lolly

or

Smash me dear oking 5 = smoking

ok it might not work but it has good intentions

Oh my god, Theres life in there!


Hey!!!!!!!!!! There is life at bobskull afterall.

Im in the basement at my uncles house.

Im trying to make it liveable… Cant c that happening cos its terable down here, spiders, dust and celing that falls into your dinner. It was bobs idea to have the cooker down here to make his kitchen… with no ventilation and being all damp. Nill nill nill nill. I’m leaning on the cooker at the moment with the computer and everything on it while cooking a pizza. hmm, tasty! I have only 1 light to sort me out on 2 floors. That will be a bit hard if i get in at 4am and want to go on the computer

C ya mal8rz